Friday, August 12, 2011

Flight of Hope


I had heard about “Flight of Hope” where loved ones are honored in the releasing of butterflies, but I had never experienced it.  On Tuesday morning, Life 96.5 announced it.  On a whim, an hour before it started at 5:30pm, I decided to check it out.  I rejoice that I did.

My daughter-in-law and four grandkids picked me up and we were just going to observe, but I ended up purchasing one of their extra butterflies.

When the gal asked me the names of my loved ones, I told her my parents' names, but in my heart I was also thinking how much I wanted to let go of the bad things in my life.  Let go of all the pain but also the hidden grudges I have in my heart against those who have hurt me in my life, whether through abuse or slander or lack of support, etc.  That deep-seated bitterness I may not even be aware I have.  That sense of betrayal that builds walls against meaningful relationships. That false shame that holds me back from feeling the freedom there is in Jesus.

Inspirational singing, stories, and Bible references resonated under the dome in Sertoma Park. As I held the wax envelope that held my Monarch butterfly, we wondered, “Is it even alive?”  Then music started and the butterfly began to move its wings and its two front legs like it was pleading, “Let me out, let me out, let me out...” 
This twanged a deep yearning in my soul.  Oh Jesus, so often I still feel so trapped by bad things that happened to me in the past.  I believe You want me to write, but so often I’m so afraid to. I worry more about what people might think or say instead of being concerned with what is to Your honor. Please free me, Lord, and let me fly free for YOU!  

I marveled how free my mom and dad are now. Nothing fetters them anymore. Jesus, You have paid the price for them. Help me to let go of any clinging hurts and dwell only on the many precious memories You have given because of their presence in my life.
When their names were called, I carefully opened my envelope and let the butterfly crawl into my hand, but it flew away so quickly that all the photo showed were empty hands and mouthed "ohs."
Then some gals from the sponsors saw us and let my grandkids hold a couple of extra butterflies.  My heart rejoiced to see the awe on their little faces! 
The memories of that day still linger in my heart.  I'm not always comfortable in crowds, but I'm so glad I answered the nudge in my heart to go. My faithful God's blessings to a doubting soul like me just keep on multiplying. 
In what ways have you "let go" of your loved ones and/or released painful memories in your life?

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