Funk is Fear

Sometimes when the writing just won't come, I say "I'm in a funk."  I just don't feel like writing.  I keep procrastinating. 

The dictionary defines "funk" as "a dejected mood," but it also can be "cowering fear; a state of great fright or terror."

Could it be that I get into a dejected mood because of fear?  I'm sure I do.  So what am I afraid of?  Afraid of offending or hurting someone if I speak the Truth.  Afraid that when I speak the Truth, I might not be loving enough. 

The ideas are there, buzzing around in my head, waiting to be released.  Then fear takes over. Someone else can write it better than I can.  I might not say it right.  Perhaps someone will read it differently than I mean it.  And the battle rages on.

The battles are the heaviest when I feel God calls me to write more about how He has freed me from the chains of legalism and abuse.  But in order to do that, I have to dig into the darkness of the past.  I don't like that vulnerable feeling. And sometimes I'm just too tired or too overwhelmed to go there. 

Like Jonah, I fall asleep in the midst of the storm and refuse to listen to God's voice.  So the reality is I am in a funk because I don't want to write what God wants me to write.  I am letting Satan tug on my vulnerable spots of insecurity.  I am refusing to allow God's light to lighten up the darkness and obliterate Satan's lies.  I am stubbornly refusing my precious Savior Who says I can do all things through Him because His grace is sufficient.

As I talk myself through another funk, I picture Jesus with tears rolling down His face as He looks at me.  My child, don't you believe that MY LIGHT is greater than all the darkness?  Don't you trust Me to give you the strength equal to the call? 

I must be the most thankless child in the world.  I want to serve Jesus.  I want to publish His glorious deeds.  Jesus, shine Your glorious and redeeming light into my heart and life.  Please dissipate the darkness and give me the courage necessary to go on in Your Name!

What do you believe God wants you to do, say, or write?

Is fear bogging you down?

The Healing Sun of Righteousness

As I gaze through my office windows, I complain in my heart at the freezing rain drizzling down with snow soon to follow.  I cringe at the thought of icy roads and cars skidding.  So many people trying to get to their destinations for Thanksgiving Day.  My husband, too, is trying to get home, and my muscles are as tight as a rubberband stretched to its limits.

I am reminded of a day almost twenty-six years ago when I stood in the kitchen of my soon-to-be husband.  The weather was just like this as my fiance drove to pick up his parents. 

I trembled with fear as I stood at the kitchen counter.  Something will happen, won't it?  It's too good to be true that I will marry the man I long prayed for.  God must be showing that He doesn't approve. 

Then I pleaded with God and prayed that the Sun of righteousness would arise with healing in His wings, that God would bless our union, our lives, our children.  Miraculously, the sun came out and bathed me with light and warmth.  Later I learned that the same miracle awed my fiance as he drove home.

The sun soon hid again until during our marriage ceremony in our living room.  As we stood and kneeled and promised each other our love and commitment, the sun broke forth in brilliance through the bay window, shining its light on us.  Even the minister said, "God must have sent His sunshine for you."

The sun again hid after the ceremony, but the warmth of its rays still lingers in my heart.  Not only did I receive a precious husband that day, but I also gained five precious children.  And over the years, through many trials, God has remained faithful.  Again and again He sends His Son to shine in our hearts and strengthen us through each day, even when we can't always see His rays.

So today, when the weather is so grey and gloomy, I will try to focus on Jesus and His ever-warming love and healing power. 

Readers, wherever you are or whatever you are going through, I pray the love of Jesus will give you hope on Thanksgiving Day and forever.  May the Sun of righteousness fill your heart with light and peace!